4th of July vs Canada Day

Meanwhile, in Canada...they're some patriotic mofo's.

Having spent Canada Day AND 4th of July in each country this year, I now feel as though I'm an authority. Now I've always known that 4th of July is an excuse to drink, not go to work (or if you do you get time and a half), BBQ and almost blow your fingers off with fireworks you have to drive to Pennsylvania to buy. Living in NYC, the tradition looks a little like this: go to work, go to Central Park, drink beer, crowd all over strangers on the Hudson River to watch the fireworks. Or, you can crowd with the shirtless drunken hordes for this. Nothing quite like watching grown people shovel hot dogs into their mouths at Coney Island.
Now, a list off:

4th of July looks a little something like this to some people:

Which I'm calling a fail. Too much denim, tassels and Miley Cyrus.
-Hot dogs, hamburgers and beer are all considered All-American food...they're all tasty, too so let's call those a win. Not sure if they cancel each other out but I'm open to suggestions.
-236 years old, and Florida is still attached...win? I mean until the Floridians started huffing epsom salts and cannibalizing people...(there's a post about that coming up) they were pretty unassuming and produced great OJ.
-Fireworks; put on by Macy's in a barge in the Hudson River yet not a one can be bought by someone who isn't willing to break the law. Major upset.
-I noticed everyone was super friendly yesterday. Maybe it was their afternoon drunkenness, maybe it's their love o' America.
-Surprisingly not a whole lot of red, white and blue wearing. I wore all black all day...

Canada on the other hand:
-145 years old
-Disappointingly, I can't find a hot dog eating contest in Canada...damn food in moderation bastards!
-I did find this:

 

Which, come on, is hilarious.

-Canadians are SO patriotic. There was a Blue Jays game on and the team all wore red jerseys instead of their regular blue/white. Not to even mention that they scream, not sing, their national anthem at games on a regular basis.

-Toronto was a sea of red, literally everyone was wearing red. Whoever didn't have red on, and still some who did had little Canadian flag temporary tattoos.

-Apparently Toronto hosts fireworks yearly at Ontario Place. Not the case this year. Lameness abounded when the fireworks we could see were few and far between. 

-You CAN, however, buy fireworks yourself at the Hasty Market (think 7-11). Serious win.

-Not sure that there's an official food one makes on Canada Day, but looks like BBQ and beer win out for this day, too.

Besides, nothing says patriotism than this guy:

Or this guy:

Thank God he's got that hunk of wood...

So I've surmised that neither one is the better holiday. Canadians get more drunk, wear more red and yell louder...but we've got it all over them in firework displays and food eating competitions. Plus we're older.